It's easy to talk about Death

My mother and grandfather, c. Memorial Day 2016

It's so easy to talk about death...until it hits you too close to home. 
As a member of the order of the good death, I advocate for green burials.  I've written a plan for my own inevitable death, and tried to talk to others about more eco-friendly options.

But, then it hits too close to home.  My mother was familiar with the death positive movement.  After her cancer diagnosis in late 2016, I introduced her to Caitlyn Doughty, the founder of the Death Positive movement. We would watch her series "Ask A Mortician" weekly, which finally did open some dialogue about death.  

Still, at the time of her death, a short 21 months after her diagnosis, I was too numb to be an advocate.  I sat at her bedside and held her hand as tears poured down my face.  I didn't step foot into the funeral home until it was necessary.  It was all a blur, and then on Sunday it was over and we went home to the emptiest feeling.  My mother was 50.....and gone far too soon.  Her stage 4 colon cancer had become unmanageable, but she fought until she physically couldn't As I  type this, the TV is tuned to Food Network (her favorite channel)  and I wish she was here with us.

6 weeks later, we went through the same thing in the eeriest deja-vu when my grandfather passed away.  My grandfather (her father) was 72.  He had been battling stage 4 small cell carcinoma (lung cancer) for about 5 years.  A blessing, considering they only gave him 2 initially.  6 weeks ago yesterday, we buried my mother.  Yesterday, we buried my grandfather--his ride to the cemetery was his forties International (right) and I don't think he'd have it any other way. Again, we are a family wracked with grief. It is easy to talk about death, to selfishly say they are in a better place -- until it hits too close to home.