So Very Thankful

I hope you guys didn't mind my Halloween Story Time too much, I have another one for you this Thanksgiving that has been on my mind.  If you follow me on Instagram, you'll know that I've dubbed this week a Kindergoth Radio Silence, just taking a few mental health days. But, I wanted to explain why.

My small army, standing on the side of a mountain after seeing all the damage caused by last year's wildfires.
Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  September 2017.  Our custom t-shirts have been courtesy of Ink Pixi for the last several years! 

A year ago last week I was a perfectly unhappy misanthrope.  Then, November 20th, 2016 rolled around.  My mom wasn't feeling well, and went to the ER. We figured they'd tell her it was a stomach bug and send her home so she'd feel better in time for Thanksgiving.  I went to work. I later get a text from my dad that they were sending her to a hospital an hour or so away for more tests.  Super normal.

At this point,  I knew what that meant, even though I wish I didn't. So in a parking lot across the street from where I worked, I sat in the car and cried for just about my entire lunch break.  

Early the next morning, we fought Nashville traffic to face the most heartbreaking things. 

Stage 4. Cancer.

As I sit and write this, it's been a rough week.  A week ago, she had another follow up scan.  At her Monday chemo treatment, the results that came in weren't the best.  The cancer was growing, by mere millimeters, but still. growing.  My worry is metastasizing, as her cancer is stage 4 it had spread initially, but no more since.  So, that was a small positive.

Our Thanksgiving last year was spent wandering a dead empty hospital,  my sisters and I.  On more than one occasion, we found ourselves locked out on balconies, thankful that they had outdoor stairs.  We spent the entire day at the hospital.

"thanksgiving dinner" was 10pm Hardees a couple blocks away. But, at home,  the groceries were bought and the turkey had been set out to thaw.  So,  with 0 experience other than Food Network,  I wrestled a 22 pound turkey into the oven.

Anyway,  I'm thankful to say that we got to have our regularly scheduled thanksgiving this year.  Mom has been through multiple chemo appointments.  There were 12 in the beginning of a standard chemo, and about 2 months of this new kind that hasn't really worked yet.  While they haven't all been a breeze, and we haven't yet gotten the results we've been hoping for,  she shows me time and time again how strong she is. 

I don't know what the future holds, but I pray that we're around the same table next year: our small army of Kindergothlings.  

I hope i haven't bored you to death once again, and I know it's not a super hardcore topic,  but you're never too Goth to hug your mom! Never forget that because you won't always have the chance to. 

Thank you all for staying until the end.  Like I said, this week is radio silence here on the blog.  I will still be active over on Instagram.  I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

-Miss Motionless